Father

I was a bit irritated since I woke up, I don't know why.

I looked into the mirror, straightening my tie. Combed my fingers through my messy, still wet hair, trying to chalk out all the details of office today. I had this strange feeling, that I am missing something. I took my Jacket, dabbed on the after-shave on my cheeks generously. That always helps me calm down. Straightened my tie again & took a deep breath. Waiting for my nerves to soothe down! 

Didn’t Happen. Damn it!

I took my keys, cell phone from the chest & shouted “Kitty, Hurry up, you will be late for school.”

Kitty is my 12 years old daughter. 

She came down running. 

“I am surprised Kitty, you are ready on time.”

“It’s Papa’s B’Day Daddy. I don’t want to be the reason for you being late today” she beamed at me.

“See, I made you this card”

‘My Papa is the Best’ written in her tiny scrawling hand-writing all decorated in Green & Red. 

She remembers my B’Day. I was amused.

“Do you like it?”

“But of course, I do. I never knew my Sweetu could make such beautiful cards.”

“I ruined one of your pens, while making this, though” she said a little ashamed.

“Hmm. We can’t have that now, can we? I think you are late for school.”

“Why Dad? I think we can still make it on time.” 

“You see Kitty, I don’t feel like going to office. I feel like taking a day off, spending it with you. Give you piggy-back rides. Walking the parkways with you. May be watch a movie in the evening. You know what, we can even go & have a ice cream.”

“Can we really do that Papa?” she said all excited.

“Why not? That is of course, if you are not interested in going to school more” I teased her.

“No Papa, lets do it. But isn’t it like you are bunking office?”

“Hmmm… Point! But I think we can relax the rule for your Poor Dad once in a while. What say?”

“Will you relax the rule for me once in a while when I grow up older Pops” She chirped…

I took her by hand, & started towards the door “Come on, We better hurry up, you have a tiring day full of fun ahead”. 

So we did all the things.

I took her to an adventure Park, where she took me on terrible rides. She was trembling with excitement & I was being nervous. Finally, after a long long time, she got tired & I gave a sigh of relief. We strolled down the parkways gulping ice lollies in the evening. And I took her to a movie. She asked me end less questions after the movie.

“Why did the hero had to die? He was a good guy, Dad?”

“It happens sometimes Sweetheart. Life is not always fair, you know.”

“Well that’s wrong Dad. God should be seeing that it doesn’t happen. I bet he is not good as my Dad. Why isn’t the God as good as you Papa?”

“Would you like him to exchange places with me Kitty?”

“No Papa, I think I like you better.” She said with a thoughtful expression.

“So what should we do for Dinner?”

“Cheese Pizza Papa…. Please” she gave me her all time angel smile.

“Sure, why Not Sweetheart”

“I hope the day was good for you.”

“It was, Papa. It was one of the best. Why can’t we have Papa’s Day daily?”

“Hmm… If we have that, then I will have to do this daily. Consequently, you will miss your school. Now we cant have you growing into an illiterate girl, Can we?”

“Why cant we? Why do I need to study? You will always be there to look after me. Won’t you Dad?” she beamed.

“Of course, I would. Now give Papa a hug & say good night.”

“Good Night Papa. I love you”

“I love you too sweetheart.” I tucked her into bed & kissed her.

This was my 35^th B’Day. I felt young.

“Sweetu, you will be late. Hurry up.” I said, relaxing the wrinkles on my crushed shirt, & combing my fingers through my grey hair at the same time.

She came down 20 minutes later still talking on phone.

I held the door open for her, waiting her to hang up.

“Dad, why are you dressed so casually today. Where is your tie?”

“Hmm… I felt like skipping the office today. So may be when you are done at College, I can pick you up & we can go for a ride, shopping, a movie & dinner.”

“No Dad, not today. I already have plans for today. Me & friends are going for bowling today.”

“How about in the evening then Sweetu?”

“Sorry Dad, I think I will be late.”

I unintentionally crushed the movie tickets in my pocket.

 “And Dad please stop calling me Sweetu. It sounds odd now, you know.”

 “Yes, of course Kitty.”

“Better grab your Jacket & your tie, Dad” She said while walking out.

I dropped her to college & came back. I had already taken a day off, but I thought of going to work anyway. 

The day just went through, uneventful. I returned home at the usual time. 

I pressed the answering machine.

"No messages" It beeped. 

"Who am I kidding?"

"She is just a kid, she might have forgotten it."

I tried to stop my mind fighting with itself. I opened the fridge & opened a can of Beer. 

I relaxed on the couch, took a sip of beer & dozed off to sleep. I woke up sometime later. I again took a sip of beer. It had turned warm. 

My eyes glanced through the black dial of the wrist-watch & I realized that it was already 8. I went to the kitchen, & started preparing the dinner. I finally finished in an hour. I was about to open another can of beer, when I saw the first one lying on the table, warm & almost untouched. I left the second one alone.

I switched on the TV & flipped through the channels, waiting for Kitty to come Home. The evening was getting late & me anxious. The father in me took over at 10:30 & I called up on her cell phone. She didn’t pick up. I couldn’t think of anything to do, except waiting.

She came back finally at 11.

“So how was your day Sw…. “ I paused, remembering what she had said in the morning ”Kitty.”

“Was Ok Dad, The movie was pretty boring though.”

“Oh Ok." I thought of the movie tickets which I had crushed in the morning.

Anyway, change quickly & come for dinner. I have made your fav. Boneless chicken.”

“But I already had my dinner Dad, I thought I told you I would be eating out today. I wonder why didn’t you get married after Mom left.”

“Good  Night, Dad.” she said climbing up the stairs.

I didn’t feel like answering. I couldn’t think of anything to answer.

I ate alone. Things have certainly changed in the last 7 years, I realized.

This was my 42^nd B’Day. I felt old, much older than my age.

I looked in the mirror. My grey hair was not messy today. It looked neat. I looked like an ideal Father. I straightened my tie. My nerves were jittery, but I was happy. Today was the biggest day in my life. 

Kitty was getting married today. The last 8 years had rather flown quickly. I tried to remember the last 25 years, when the only apex of my life had been my daughter, & failed. I doubted I had been a good father. I stepped into the hall & got surrounded by the guests immediately. 

There she is, I thought, beautiful as her mother & sweet as an angel. She looked happy. I put a smile on my face & stepped towards her. She saw me, smiled & started to say something.

“I know Kitty. You don’t have to say it. I hope you are Happy. I will always love you. Things will never change between us. This is just a new chapter in your life.”

She smiled & a tear rolled down her cheek.

“Our lives Papa, our lives” she sobbed.

“Life will never be same without you, I can not imagine myself without you Dad.”

“I am sorry for all the hard times I gave you. I hope you forgive me, Dad”

“Shhh… Kitty, Smile. Lots of people clicking pictures, We don’t want you to be snapped teary faced with red nose, Do we?” I kissed her.

She beamed a smile & I turned back to look after other things.

“Dad…”

“Yes Kitty” 

“I know why you never married after Mom left. 

And Dad I think I prefer Sweetu.”

I smiled.

I was 2 days short of turning fifty. I could feel my life turning around, turning around in a complete circle, to me.

I felt young.

P.S - I wrote this for the only child who thinks I write & tell wonderful stories.