The Home Run...

I started walking fast on the beaten roads. I was approaching  the outskirts of the town. It was almost time & I was already running late than usual. I was picking fast on my pace when I heard it. The soft tune of  "Because you loved me" strummed on a guitar. The girl was doing a good job. It bought the memories back. 

"Hurry up, The tube will be here any minute." She said smiling, knowing that I was sulking.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" I asked.

"For the reason that you will sulk." She teased me.

"I am sulking now!"

"I know & you also know how much I hate it."

We were walking down the undergrounds of London. The man was standing in a corner, strumming a soft tune on his guitar.

She got her wallet from  her handbag & emptied all the change in the upturned hat. She carried a lot of change. 

The guy gave her a big smile "Have a nice day Ma'am" he said.

"You too" she smiled back.

"That was the first time I have ever seen you giving alms. I am amused." I said.

"He wasn't begging. We should appreciate it.He is making the world a better place by his music." She replied.

"By playing that lousy tune?" 

"That lousy tune is "Because you loved me"  which incidentally happens to be one of my Fav songs" She scoffed back.

"That was my revenge. We are even now." I teased her

"You can congratulate me now." She smiled.

"Congratulate for what? You leaving me alone for the next three years! Any person who knows me even a little bit, would guess that I am in a sea of sorrow here."

"No; for getting an admission in Stanford. You know everyone doesn't gets an admission there. You must be proud of me" She said grinning.

"And I am!" I hugged her. She just smiled.

I took out my wallet & poured all the change in the bowl. There wasn't much. I dropped a fiver as well. 

The girl smiled at me "Have a nice evening, Sir"

"And you too young lady." I said as I hurried on the way ahead.

I finally reached there & it was about time too. I took off my thread bare jacket & hung it one of the branches.  I folded my knees & sat down. I was there alone; my back against the tree, shielding myself from the sun with what little shade the acacia provided. The birds had started flying home. It was time. I was waiting for it to happen. This was the only time of the day which I looked forward to every morning. 

The harsh rays from the sun were softening already. The sun went down slowly assuring everybody not to worry; that it will be back tomorrow. Its hot rays flaming the clouds; producing a dry & scattered, but beautiful rainbow of colors. When the sun burned out the already exhausted clouds over the dry lands, the colors would behold the sight of any man. There was something magical about the sunset in Africa. It was like a miracle, & no matter how many times I watched it, I always was just awe stuck by its beauty. 

The psychologists always say that a person who loves sunset more than the sunrise is depressed & paranoid. May be they are correct, But the truth is I don’t feel more lively ever than when I am watching the burning clouds of sunset. I don’t know when I fell in love with sunsets.

I heard a foot step behind me. I knew who it was. He had been my right arm, my employee, my student & the only audience I had in the last 3 years. He was the only person who knew I would be here at this time.

“I don’t like to be disturbed at this time Rick & you know it.” I said without lifting my gaze from the horizon.

“Come join me anyway” I invited him.

“Try to keep quiet till it goes down. I know, its tough for you to keep your blabbering mouth shut, but do try it for the sake of your own hide”

He sat silently besides me. I waited for another 5 minutes.

“That’s unusual.” I said.

“What is?”

“Your not talking. And as if that wasn’t enough your keeping silent even when I have specifically told you not to talk. Is something bothering you, Rick?” 

“Hmm… You could say so…” He said.

Strangely enough he was staring at the burning clouds when he said that.

“Beautiful, isn’t it? Pity it lasts only 10 minutes. I guess we can postpone your problem for another 5 minutes & enjoy it.”

He stayed silent. I preferred not to break his chain of thoughts & tried to enjoy the scene. It was difficult. 

The girl playing by the road side had done her job well. All I could think of ,was her.

“Lets listen to your problem now Rick, Shall we?” I said, getting up dusting up my tethered jeans.

“You are assuming that I want to tell you about it. Isn’t that being pompous?” He growled.

“Well Rick, either you are insulting my intelligence, or you want me to revise my opinion about yours. You have known for the last 2 & half years that I always came here to see the sun set; even on days when I know with certainty that the clouds wouldn’t flame up. And in those 2 & half years, I have never seen you here. You don’t have the patience to sit idle, Rick. And here you are today, quiet for last 3 minutes." I gave him a moment to absorb my reasoning.

"Come on Rick, if you don’t want to talk about it, we may as well get going. I still have some scotch left & I can spare you some portion from my delicious chicken.” 

I started on the beaten way, trying to make up my way in dark. I still didn’t feel the need of a flashlight. Rick picked on my steps, but stayed silent for the whole half an hour walk. I knew something was disturbing him, but I wanted him to tell me. I had left the habit of asking people what’s bothering them somewhere in the past. I remembered the days when I would ask people if they needed help. That trait in me died when I left the only person for whom I had picked up the habit. I tried to close down my mind to the nostalgic thoughts.

“So what will it be today Rick. The heavenly 18 year old scotch, which I know is smuggled in these regions of Africa & which costs me almost the entire fortune I earn in a month or would you prefer the luxury of warm Heineken.”

“I will go for Heineken; you don’t want to share the scotch anyway.” He replied

“See, I wasn’t wrong about your intelligence Rick. The time for revising my opinions is still not ripe.” I tossed him a can of beer.

"She is leaving tomorrow." He somehow blurted it out.

I knew the toughest moment was gone. I wanted to stop him & ask "Who is she?"

But I let him carry on.

"She is leaving for Paris tomorrow evening. She wants to pursue her Masters in Arts."

"Hmm..." I prompted him to continue.

"And I still am not able to figure out what I feel for her. Half of me is screaming for her to stay, but the rest of me wants her to be Happy. I am confused. I feel guilty for being so selfish. I don't know what to do." 

I knew that was all what he will say.

"Have you told her, Rick?"

"Told her what? You want me to tell her that I am in love with her. That I want her to forget her dreams & remain here with me. That I will always keep her happy. Have you gone Crazy?"

"Rick, if only you would have noticed; you would have realized that you answered the question yourself. The point here is not whether she will stay with you. The point here is that she should know how you feel about her. Give her a chance to decide what's best for her."

"If I had known that you will give me this kind of dumb advice, I would have never come to you."

"I knew that was coming. Let me tell you something. There was this girl, & I swear by all that I have ever considered holy, she is the best thing that happened in my life. I loved her more than anything in the world. She was the apex of my life, everything rotated around her. Nothing ever happened in my life of which she wasn't a part of directly or indirectly.

Unlike you, I told her how much I loved her. I never cared whether she understood or not. I even thought of asking a couple of times whether I made any sense.  She loved listening me talk, & I would give away fortunes to hear her. Neither of us used to talk much. Not that words were any important. I used to tell her that she could tell me what she is thinking, & that there was no need to tell me how she was feeling. I boasted that I knew her heart better than mine.

Oh, But I think I am drifting from what I wanted to tell you. 

You see Rick, in the last 3 years, I never had a visitor. I never had anybody to talk to, except for you, & I think you highly appreciate the volumes I talk in. In these last 3 years, gazing at the sunset has not only been my fav past time, it has also been the moment of self realization for me. It has helped me realize that the Grandeur of an African summer sunset can be matched by only few things in this world. It has made me realize that I don't miss anything, when I gaze at those vibrant colors in the sky. Except for her. She is the only person who I think could make those moments more enjoyable for me. There is so much I want to tell her & so much more I want to hear from her. She is the only person whom I think of when I sit there alone, every evening waiting for the sun to take refuge in the darkness.

Lately it has dawned on me that the one of the best decisions in my life has been that I told her how much I love her. I just repent that I didn't tell her enough. 

What I want to say Rick is that if the thought of not telling enough number of times, kills me daily, just think what will happen when you will grow to the age of gazing at sunsets?

That’s all I want to say Rick. Would you care for another Beer?"

"I think I can manage another" He said.

I tossed him another can.

Rick didn’t show up at work in the morning. 

I knew why. He came to the garage in the evening. 

“Fine employee you are! Leaving all the dirty work for your boss.” I said wiping off my grease smeared hands on a rag. 

“I am sorry” that was all he said.

“It’s Ok. There wasn’t much work today anyway. I was just closing off.”

“Do you want a beer?” I asked him.

“I thought it was time for you to go & watch your precious sunset.” He asked.

“I can manage without it for one day.” I smiled back at him.

“I would rather watch the sunset with you than having the beer.” He replied

“Fine with me, As long as you don’t make it a habit. You are not of the age Rick.” I taunted him.

So there we were; sitting below the thorny acacia gazing at the dying light. 

I stole a glance towards Rick. His face looked calm & peaceful. I knew then that he had told her.

I sat there all by myself in the small pub (if you can call it a pub, for it only had 4 chairs & a small bar) watching outside the window. 

"David, it’s so sweating hot here." A woman complained to her husband.

I cursed her for breaking the chains of my thoughts & souring up my last sunset in Africa.

Somebody pulled a chair besides me & ordered a Heineken. I didn't had to look up to see who he was, for there were only 2 people in the whole area who ordered Heineken. 

"Well Rick, my time in SA is over. I am going back tomorrow."

"I hope you have a nice time, seeing the world ahead. So where to... Australia or Europe?"

"You are wrong on both accounts Rick. I have already seen Australia; frankly speaking there wasn't much except for the Kangaroos & the Kiwis. And Europe makes me nostalgic."

"So where now?"

"I am back to my own place. The only place which can match the grands of Africa is India. The burning sunset of Africa, can only be challenged by the serene calm of the Himalayas. The wild game in Africa is so majestic that no other country can match it, except for the Indian subcontinent. The wrath of the seasons are same both here in Africa & in India. The tribes & the culture here, however will loose to the culture in India. No Rick, The only place to see after Africa is India. I definitely want to see India now."

"Hmm..." He sipped his cold beer.

"You can always visit Rick."

"Yes I know...." He pulled something out of his pocket. It was gift wrapped.

"This is for you." He pushed it towards me & took another plug on his beer.

This was the greatest display of emotions I had ever seen from Rick.

"Thanks Rick, I appreciate it."

"You should see it before you say Thanks, You may not like the idea."

I tore the cover open. 

It was beautiful. Chestnut color leather bound volume. I turned it to see the title. There was none. I opened it to the first page. 

'Collected Stories - For the only person who thought I told great stories'

I didn't say anything.

"Where & when did you get this? I had stopped writing this about 6 months ago." I asked him.

"It was when you fell down the gorge, tearing half of your arm & shoulder. I had to strap you to a stretcher & get you carried back home. That was the only time when you haven't made it back on your feet from the trips in the last 3 years. Do you remember?"

"And when I asked you for the scotch in the night, you came by this in my things, Isn't it Rick? It's good for you that I am leaving tomorrow. I feel like tearing you from limb to limb." I tried to control my anger.

"I know. I know.... If it’s any consolation for you, I haven't read it, except for the title. Neither did the publisher & there is only this single copy. I couldn't think of anything else to give you for all what you have done for me in the last 3 years."

I was still angry, but nodded to accept his apologies.

"Do you mind my asking whom did you write it for? You have been writing it for last 3 years, & you never tried to get it published."

“Not exactly a question which will help you increase your limited stock of knowledge, is it?” I smiled at him.

“Ok. I have another one for you as well. Do you remember I came to you that day asking for advice? I have never seen you so emotional.”

“You know me quite a lot Rick.”

“That is not the point. My question was who were you talking about that Day?”

“I will prefer to answer your first question. I wrote it up for my daughter; she must be your age now. How old are you? No, I guess, a little younger than you." I smiled & the memories over shadowed me.

"I am home Honey." 

"Coming Dad" shouted my 20 year old daughter.

"So how's my sweetheart today? Going by the twinkle in your eye, I guess you spent lot of your Dad's hard earned money on useless shopping" I teased her.

"It's ok Dad, you don't use it anyway. Nobody uses..."

"Money in South africa" I completed the sentence for her, & smiled.

"How was your day Dad?

"Kind of ok Sweetu, but you know I am kind of getting bored now here. I just want to break off the ties & run free. I guess its high time now. You are old enough to take care of yourself & I don't think I have anything else to worry about." I replied

"So all set for next week! Checked everything?" I changed the topic.

"Yups" she nodded. "You get fresh, I will fix the dinner for you in the meanwhile."

"I can't believe you have grown up so fast. It feels like yesterday only when I used to roam around, with you grabbing my finger."

"I know Dad, I know. Better hurry up."

I loosened my collar, & splashed cold water on my face. I looked into the mirror; my eyes were looking back at me, while my face was still looking towards the basin. It was time for me to admit that I was getting old. 

It was time for me to pursue my last dream.

I towelled my face "Sweetu, what do you really think of the plan?"

"Which Plan, your going to Africa?"

"Yes" I flung the towel on the nearest sofa.

"Hmm... I think you should go for it." She picked up the towel & whisked it somewhere out of sight.

"Sorry, I was thinking of something else." I said, knowing how much she hated, my habit of spreading things around. 

"It's just that I don't know how will I do without you?"

"Dad, both of us know that is not what is bothering you. The thing that is bothering you is How will I manage without you? Relax, Pops, I will do fine. You don't have to worry about me." she read my thoughts.

"Yes, I know... still" I left the sentence in mid air.

"Dad, I will be leaving for Stanton, next week. And I am really going to be very busy for the next 3 years. Why don't you chase up your obsession for Africa in the mean time?" She asked me.

"Are you serious?"

She said nothing, just passed a smile. It answered everything.

"She got that from her mother" I said to myself. "Let me think it over." I answered her.

I saw her to the flight next week. 

"Now all smiles, not a single tear Sweetu." I told her

"Does the same apply to you?" She asked me

I gave her a smile & she wiped off the tear grazing my cheek.

“Last call for the flight leaving for….”

“I have to go now Dad. Take care of yourself.” She turned to leave. 

"Remember what I said about Africa, Dad" she shouted over her shoulder.

"So Rick, that’s how I came to Africa." I shook myself from the past & returned to the pub.

“How about the second question?” he again asked.

“Haven’t I already told you enough for a day?” I evaded again.

“Come on man. You are leaving tomorrow. I don’t know if I will ever see you again! I just want to know who is she?”

“Rick you know what? The only thing I really like about you is, you are dumb enough not to know when to give up.” I smiled at him. “I answered both of your questions.” 

“She must be pretty lucky to have a father like you.” He smiled.

“Thanks Rick. I hope she shares your opinion about me.” 

I picked up the book &  started for the door.

    

Be More...

I saw this cool Titan Ad in one of my friends blog...

No doubt that the ad is cool. It also inspires you in a certain way. However that is not what came to my mind when I saw this ad. 

This ad actually reminds me of 'Pullu Bhai'. 'Pullu Bhai' was my first technical lead when I joined my company. For the people who haven't been in touch with me for a long time, I am another brick in the wall of technical India. We have a joke of the house which states us 3 (The third one being Tobin) as army commandos. Pullu is Col, Tobin is Major & I am their Boss Brig. All 3 of us are on a top secret mission to capture the most wanted terrorists; the terrorists being the hot babes of my organisation.

You might be thinking what's so special about Pullu Bhai. Well, the line said by Amir 

"And never resemble your passport photo for more than 3 months. Har subah shock your reflection" 

suits Pullu Bhai aptly.

Here is what I mean:-

Pullu - Metric Fail

Pullu - Auto Driver

Pullu - The traveller

Pullu - The Cosmopolitan

Pullu - The Cool Guy

Pullu - Don ka Chota Bhai

Pullu - The Don himself

Pullu - The leader

P.S - None of the Pictures hosted here were shot by me. I have taken the liberty to copy them from Pullu's Orkut Profile. The real name is Vinod Pulukkool 

P.P.S - 'Pullu Bhai' has been one of the most technically sound guy I have ever worked with. He is also one of the coolest chap I have come across in my professional career & among the very few friends I have from my work place. He recently left the technical clan, betrayed us & joined the gang of bloody exploiters (that's what I call the managers in my company)

My Bucket List Part I

Ok, for the advantage of all the fools who are movie buffs & haven't seen the movie "Bucket List" & all the intelligent people who don't see movies, let me explain the term first. A "Bucket List" is the list things you would rather complete before hitting the bucket. Putting it more poetically, committing those sins for which you wouldn't mind rotting in hell for eternity. Got the picture? Of course, You bet... I am a poetic person.

There are days when I wake up crazy. I am all materialistic, selfish, greedy scum. And on those days, the only thing that hovers my mind besides 'Drew Barrymore' is this:-

I shot these pictures at Heathrow Airport yesterday, where it was on display. I didn't take out the complete picture, because it looks so boring, It had a tag 'Please do not touch' & most importantly because of the stage lights.

Perhaps the most famous fans of Ferrari are Jeremy Clarkson & Michael Schumacher. Well personally, I consider Jeremy Clarkson as a fool who has got lot of charisma. He is stupid, extremely biased, pre-notioned, repetitive & doesn't know half of the times, what he is talking about (e.g - The episode where he sees light to a Porsche 911, He says that the Porsche emits 300 Carbon dioxides! What the hell, is 300 CO2?). Of course he is a good orator, and knows how to drive. But that is not what I like about him. What I like about him is

"I consider Ferrari as the scale down model of God." 

- Jeremy Clarkson, Top Gear

I know there are lot of other things on my Bucket list, which I would give more priority to. But all of them are things I want to do, things which will satisfy my inner self, things which incline more towards satisfying my soul rather than my greed, & I would give my life away for any of them gladly. But if there is one materialistic thing which I would give my legs for, is this noise making, environment polluting, fuel guzzling monster. Of course, I would have to go for a flappy gear pedal version then, I gave my legs away... remember.

For those perky, finicky, detail interested bastards, I would now specify which model would I really like. The ones who are not interested in specs can of course skip. Well, the model again varies on the days & the mood I wake up in. The days when I still have fragments  of my nice content personality left, I would rather choose a Ferrari F430. It's a beautiful machine & I really hope to own it some day if possible( I know its really hard, but I still would like to give it a try). The looks... Well you can see the above pictures. Of course you can watch more pictures here to satisfy your gluttonous greed - Ferrari.

But on days when I wake up a true monster, when I don't have any humane emotions left in me, when I am the every greedy, unsatisfied satan himself, I do prefer to own the F60. Of course, for this to happen, would take another miracle. But then again one of my Fav sayings is 

"Miracles do happen, You just have to work harder for them to happen."

I really forgot who said that, will google for it once I have some spare time.  

Anyway coming back to the point, The F60 is the most unpractical car you can ever own. Its a fuel guzzling pump, you can not sell it once you have chosen to buy it (Did I tell you that YOU have to be chosen to buy it.) Its practical perspective is certainly not worth the money (the base car costs 1 million). It certainly is not a street car, for you can't see who is coming behind you till he hits you in the back, & then of course you would die of a heart attack. It was designed by a bunch of crazy physics interested engineers, who had never driven on a road. 

It is not the fastest car in production, not to say it is neither the most powerful. It can be overrun both by the 18 year older McLaren F1 & the relatively newer Bugatti Veyron. 

What it is, is the ultimate extravagant use of technology. It is the new chapter in future of cars, & a new benchmark for the engineering perfection. It was never designed to be practical. And I love it for its very impractical nature. Because even though highly impractical it is, It does it perfectly with a panache which no other car today can match. I can go on writing & you will still not get a idea of what I am talking about if you haven't seen it. If you have seen it, You probably know that no matter how hard I try, I would never come close to explaining the beauty of this wonderful machine. That's why I would rather let you see yourself. Here you go & enjoy...

I know most of you might be thinking that the top 2 of my Fav cars are Ferrari. And I must be a Ferrari chauvinist. Well, I can't give you 10 different defenses against this, I could provide you with 5, if i really tried. However, I know that they wouldn't be perfectly true. I know cars more beautiful, more powerful, more performance oriented than these 2 Ferraris. However the truth is Ferrari is my secret 'Achilles Heel'. In fact, I have suggested a couple of times, that they should ban other car manufacturers from using the Red hot Paint. For, its meant to be only a Ferrari, which carries that away with a grace & style.

So that is my dark side.... 

(or should it be Red side?) 

    

Instrumentals & Jazz

I have always been a fan of Instrumentals. They just fascinate me. 

In my opinion Instrumentals are the purest form of music. You can listen to them both consciously or subconsciously according to your mood. They make a great choice for concentrating, since you dont have to bother about the lyrics. I first started listening to instrumentals on some of the audio cassettes of J.S Bach, bought by my uncle.

Instrumentals have that strange power of soothing your nerves which songs can never achieve. I do like my pieces more by what soothes my nerves, rather than anything else. Only if it qualifies for this, do i try to understand it subtleties. 

One of my Fav genres in Instrumentals is Jazz. I always thought that the most meledious instrument is a violin, till I heard a saxophone. For serious Jazz lovers, this might be too simple. I would recommend "John Coltrane", "Miles Davis", "Louis Armstrong" & Roy Eldrige". I can write pages & pages on Jazz, & it still wouldn't be enough. 

“The chief trouble with jazz is that there is not enough of it; some of it we have to listen to twice”

-Don Herald (US cartoonist & Humorist)

For the lesser of us mortals like me, there is always Kenny G. Lets say, he was the one who got me addicted to saxophone. I do hope you enjoy this piece by him. Its called Havana & is a great example of what is popularly known as "Smooth Jazz". If you do listen it carefully, you will be able to notice that the piece starts with only saxophone & a piano. As the song progresses, the tempo increases & so do the accompanying instruments. I would say its Heaven but that might be an injustice to God.

Coming Back To Life

One of  Fav songs, not only because of its Lyrics, but also because of its slow but crystal clear music.  

The song is originally from the album "The Divisional Bell" 1994. The song is solely credited to David Gilmour, who wrote it for his wife Polly.

"Where were you when I was burned and broken,

While the days slipped by from my window watching.

Where were you when I was hurt and I was helpless,

Because the things you say and the things you do surround me.

While you were hanging yourself on someone elses words,

Dying to believe in what you heard,

I was staring straight into the shining sun.

Lost in thought and lost in time,

While the seeds of live and the seeds of change were planted,

Outside the rain fell dark and slow;

While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime,

I took a heavenly ride through one silence,

I knew the moment had arrived,

For killing the past and coming back to life.

I took a heavenly ride through our silence,

I knew the waiting had begin,

And I headed straight... into the shining sun."

I hope you enjoyed listening to it, as much as I do. Want to read more about them, Visit here Pink Floyd

P.S - Don't stare into the sun directly!

Silverknowes

I am still learning how to play with sunlight & considering that I am a slow learner, don't get to shoot often, the results don't turn up what I expected them to be.

Following are some of the pictures which I shot at the local beach shore, one evening. 

I walk alone

The joy of youth

The wisdom of foresight

In all the above pictures I was trying to shoot the patterns on sand. I wasn't successful, partly because of the harsh light of the sun(which insisted on giving burnt out & washed up colors) & partly because of my inexperience.

The Steel Colosium

The Colors of Spring

I liked the last 2 pictures because of their warm tones, which I was finally able to capture.

Shows, how much I still have to learn. The most important thing I learnt that day was one doesn't needs great locations to shoot good pictures. Its all in how you shoot them, not the equipment & not the locations.

Happy snapping!