Blue mornings... Bucket List Part II

You wake up one morning with a splitting headache. And the first thing you ponder on is, whether you had too much to drink yesterday? The answer leaves you all the more puzzled (believe me Puzzles don't help when you have got a head splitting ache). Anyway, you drag yourself out of the bed, brush your yellow-stained teeth, wash your wrinkled dry face, and try to pacify your coarse, messy hair. You look at the mirror. And find somebody totally unlike you staring back. That is when you realize that this isn't you. This was never ever meant to be you.

Have you ever had any of these mornings?
If not, you are a part of an extremely small, but very lucky bunch of people on earth. And since I don't believe in luck, I am taking the liberty of presuming that you are lying. (Don't do that, lying is bad, lying to yourself is even worse). Anyway I am not here to ponder on my readers conscience, reaction, behavior & interaction with themselves. Being the person I am, I don't care about that.

Are you wondering, why did I write all this then?
Because, recently I am having too many of these bad mornings.

I mean recently I have been wondering too much about what am I doing, & what do I want to do with my life? I earn decent enough money, I am comfortable with my job, I don't have any worries or immediate responsibilities to take care of. I have seen a bit of europe. In a nutshell, I am more than satisfied. Happy? No!

Why?

I really don't know. But this is not exactly what I thought I would be doing when I completed my engineering. May be there is no pressure on me. There is kind of no competition for me, at work. I don't have to strain myself beyond the normal slugged capabilities. May be its because this is the first time in my life when I don't have an immediate future goal. May be its because my life is too settled, too easy & too comfortable. May be its because I am getting things too easily nowadays. I don't know what is it exactly, But whatever it is, the sense of adventure, excitement in my life seems to be fading slowly! 

May be it is because, the only people I care about are so far away from me. May be it is because I too do need somebody to talk to. May be it is because I do miss them. Or may be it's because I am not used to handle such emotions.

Whatever the reasons may be, they got me thinking. 

Given a chance what differences would I love to have in my life? Now that's a difficult question to answer!

But I will take my shot. 

The first thing I would like to change in my life is to be financially carefree. I don't want to spoil the joys of my life worrying about where my money is going. I would prefer to live like, what my friend Jai says as 'Living from hand to mouth'. I would rather spend my life peacefully gazing at an African sunset, having a quiet evening at Mt. Titlis in Switzerland, snorkeling in the clear waters of Australia, driving a Ford GT across the streets of Detroit or having a wood burned tea in the calmness of Himalayas! I no longer want to be bothered about the suave pleasures of luxury & richness. 

The second thing I would like to change in my life is emotional detachment. I am more or less tired by the emotional attachment with people. They more often than not, leave me grumpy, dry, moody, sulking, emotionally wasted, energetically drained & hurt. Except for the handful of people I really care about I want to break all the emotional ties with the rest of the world. I don't want to be emotionally dependent on people any longer. I want to learn how to live alone, & be myself. I guess my first desire comes from this one.

I would like to go around the world, see the different cultures, topography, geography & people. May be it's the effect of watching 'Into the Wild' too many times. May be I am being too romantic. May be I am too cynical. May be I am getting old & this is the 'Middle age crisis' for me. May be I am tired of this world. But the truth is I want to break off all the ties & run away.

I don't know whether I am off my mind or I do need a reality check... 

This is my 'Bucket List Part II'

Love

"Have the passion to love people when they need you,

& the courage to let them go when they want you to."

Read it somewhere, liked it!!!

The Knight & his sacrifices

Have you given away something which you cherish more than your life just for the reason that somebody will be happy? Have you ever wondered how hard is it to sacrifice some part of your life; especially when you know it will never be acknowledged? Have you ever wondered what pain a martyr goes through? Have you ever thought what it feels like to be on the receiving end of being somebody's second priority. & the worst is you have nobody to talk to about it!

Gosh, it is hell!

Now don't get the wrong idea. I am not talking about myself. Being the pompous & self acclaimed egoist I am, I would never do that. I am talking about the latest of the Batman series 'The Dark Knight'. 

The movie's story is nothing new. But it does show you a different side of the Batman. The normal dark side of the superhero has been portrayed so much that people do forget what would be the humane side of the poor guy. The 'Dark Knight' gives away the happiness in his life so that the commoner of Gotham can sleep peacefully. He let goes of the person he loves most, believing that she will return back when things are better. No wonder they call him the knight, the bravest of the warriors who don't show emotions even when their world is getting ripped apart.

Christian Bale is awesome in the movie both as Batman, the superhero & Bruce Wayne, the multi Billionaire playboy. Aaron Eckhart, as Harvey Dent is also good, but he is awesome once he transforms into the character of 'Two-Face'. Of course late 'Heath Ledger' overshadows every other person in the movie as 'The Joker'. The way he says "This city deserves a better class of criminal & I am going to give it to her" is awesome. He certainly deserves Oscar for the movie, though I doubt if they give Oscar posthumously. The special effects wouldn't disappoint you either. 

Best Dialogue in the movie, again by the Joker:- 

"Good evening Ladies & Gentlemen, we are tonight's entertainment."

However, for me the action & the special effects of the movie are secondary. I loved the way the director has handled the emotions of Batman transforming into Bruce Wayne. The way he still goes on, sacrificing the only thing worth cherishing in his life, even when he knows that he will never gain anything from it. I wonder how would poor Bruce feel if he comes to know that 'Rachel' did leave him for 'Harvey Dent' . 

Whoever said that being a Hero is easy must certainly have been drinking. A must see for all action freaks. 

Three cheers for all the heroes in the world, who have got the heart to sacrifice something in their life for the sake of other's happiness. I wonder where would this mean world be without them!

    

Deadly experience

Last night my mom and I were sitting in the living room, talking about life... In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying.

I said to her: ' Mom, never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and surviving on liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I beg of you to disconnect all the contraptions that are keeping me alive, I'd very much rather die'.

My mom looked at me with real admiration, got up from the sofa...

and proceeded to disconnect the TV, the Cable, the Dish, the DVD, the Computer, the Cell Phone, the Ipod, and the Xbox; and then went to the fridge and threw away all my beer!!

...I ALMOST DIED!!!"

P.S - This didn't happen with me; though i empathize with the narrator. I got this as a FWD from a Friend.

    

Pink shades

Its a fast world today. Some go to the extent of calling it mean and ugly. That's an exaggeration. However, I don't deny that the world today is fast.

To survive here, you have to be competitive, determined, dedicated & strong. And some where, running on the track, we do forget the real joy. Strong becomes hard & determined becomes mean. If this goes on for a long time, there is a huge chance that the real person dies.

Some people help you find the goals, some others help you with determination. Some of us make this world an easier place to live & some make it more beautiful. There are people who show you how to live the life king size & still others will show you the pleasures of aestheticism.

However, it does happen only once in a while that you meet a person who makes you see the pink shades. They help you realize that strong doesn't have to be hard & determination doesn't stand for meanness. They come, life becomes enjoyable & fun. They tell you that no matter what happens, there are & will always be people who will care for you.


Just hug these people once. The memories of these moments will be sufficient for the coming lives.

P.S - My friend loves Pink :))

I wonder!!!

The tender whispers from your Lips,
The soft wisps of your brown hair,
The black night in your eyes,
The rude smile of yours,
And the mad laughter,

The way you see me and ignore,
The way you brush away my approaching hand,
The way you try to make me see sense,
The way you keep your distance,
And the way I am crazy about you,

All force me to stop,
to wonder why am I not asleep,
at 1 O'Clock in the night,
thinking where will this take me!!!

The Seasons...

The Fury of the Gods,
made the blue skies crimson and Red,
The sand became parched,
And all the water up there dried,
The death was naked and dancing,
And wolves being merry and Howling,

The Weeping eyes of the God,
And the torrent of rains,
And down came the Lord,
With the sword of lightning,
And the shield of rippling droplets,
Followed by the numerous courtiers of Tornadoes,

And as anger gave way to wisdom,
Reason seeped in the form of Cool Winds,
Filled with regret,
The heat turned into breeze,
The worst was over,
And still there was lots to see,

He washed away all his anger,
And blessed all his children,
Shooed away the illness and Wolves,
And trapped the death,
Saplings rose new and fresh,
And the old bark became again but green,

The old man in the heaven,
Filled with remorse,
Cried and cried on his deeds,
till the tears in his eye froze,
the whole world became quiet,
and only the howling chilly wind spoke,

And the Humans on earth,
Thinking of the fortunes ahead,
Were happy,
Hoping he was pleased,
Started praying for the coming year.

Laws of Attraction

"I am not here to save my Carrer....I am sorry to disappoint you...But I dont care about my Carrer. I do care about you.

And so I will gladly give you a Divorce....Call me old fashioned...But I believe that if you love someone, you should be unselfish enough to give them everything they want. And I love you Audrey... I will come around to collect my things later."

"Some can give you laughter & smiles, Many others can give you cries& tears, Only few can give you laughing tears & crying smiles,
Treasure them more than anything!"

P.S - Even though this isn't mine, I do take the risk of dedicating this entry of my Blog to a person who really means all this and the world to me.

What would you die for?

Every person stands up for something or other. The meekest of scholars, and the most arrogant of the warriors, the godly saint and the most selfish stinger, all of us are willing to give everything, for some particular cause. And to find that cause, is where the meaning of the life lies.

So what do I stand by?
What are the things for which I would throw away everything, wrapped in a brown paper bag, without having any second thought. Principles, Freedom, Money, Honor...or is it something more basic?

Well there is only one thing for which I will fight till death, without care of tomorrow, and that is my belief. The belief that Man is the best thing that could have happened on earth, that Man has an infinite potential, and once he puts his soul and mind into something, there is nothing impossible for him. For the pride I feel in being a Man!!!

The Monk who turned his job for a Dog!!!

One of my child hood dreams was to own a Dog... My own Dog.
Now let me go into retrospection and tell you about my childhood memories. One of my Uncles had 2 Dobermans. He used to take them for a daily run. And sometimes I used to accompany him. He asked me one day, if I would run them for him. I was too eager. Said yes. He gave me the leash for both of them, and asked if I was ready. I nodded with my head for a 'yes'. And then he said "RUN".

I always loved to see those 2 Dobermans, Johnny and Tom, running. But, never knew that they had so much force in them. They literally dragged me behind them. Being in the prime of my teens, and not taken up smoking, I was in proper health and ran for almost 2 Kms with the dogs. It was fun, to feel the power and force on the leash, to see those powerful muscles flexing behind the well groomed fur.

That day I made the decision, "I will buy a Dog for myself when I start earning".
After a long time, I finally became employed. Now I have all the means to fulfill my long awaited dream. And, guess what? I got an offer yesterday from a fellow Infoscian for a Lab at an affordable rate. I was too happy. I was on Cloud number Nine!!!
I told my room mates that we are going to buy a Lab soon. My room mate's reply was "We can invest that money to buy a TV instead". Not letting the comment dampen my spirit, I turned to the second of my roommate. He was serious. By seeing his look, I knew that he was weighing the Pros and Cons of the offer. Finally he said "I would advise you against it". Flabbergasted, I waited for his explanation.

He said "We are in the office from 9 to 9 on a normal day. Who would feed the Dog? We don't get up till 8 in the morning. Who would take the dog for a run and the daily walks? We roam out throughout the weekends. Who will keep company for the Dog? Bro, that would be an act of cruelty towards the animal. What will it do throughout the day? It would go mad locked in the confines of our house."

When I revised his words, I found a lot of wisdom in them. I consulted another friend of mine telling him about my childhood dream and the dilemma facing me. He also had the same opinion as of my roomie.

So, I concluded that I can't buy a Dog right now. "No Worries" I said to myself. I will wait for some more time. But when I looked deeper into the situation, it wasn't so simple. For having a Dog, either I have to get married so that my wife can keep the company of the animal, or keep a house keeper for the animal, in which case the animal would be more familiar towards the keeper. In a way it would be the keeper's Dog and not mine. And I don't want to get married. More over in Today's world it would be too difficult to find a girl who wouldn't mind staying home and taking care of my Dog.

What's the use of my earning when I can't fulfill my dreams with the money I earn? The only solution to this problem that comes into my mind is to Quit my Job and then buy a Dog. So I am planning to Quit my Job soon, and buy a Lab.
P.S - I haven't figured out till now, what will I do throughout the day, besides keeping the company of my Canine friend, once I quit the Job. Any suggestions will be welcome.